When we examine ourselves, we may see things we don’t like. Re-framing our response gives us access to new possibilities.
Really examining ourselves can be uncomfortable. When I’m talking to other people who notice something about themselves that they don’t like, I find it easy to say and believe that they are incredible just as they are, and then to work through the issue with them. However, it’s a bit different when I see something I don’t like in myself. I have some pretty good strategies to avoid having to do this – ignore, distract, defend, blame something or someone else, claim not to understand, etc, etc!
One of the reasons I may be making it more uncomfortable to notice and confront things about myself is the words I attach to what I see. For example, I found myself saying that what I saw was ugly. I didn’t mean that I believed my appearance was ugly, but an aspect of my character was ugly. For me, this word seemed woven into who I am and invoked something permanent and unchanging. However, if I’m able to see this thing I don’t like about myself as ‘just a thing I sometimes do’ - something that can be changed -then I can look at it, notice the circumstances in which I do this thing and wonder about why I do it. I can’t change something I can’t see or choose to ignore but as soon as I engage with it, I gain insights that can lead to transformation.
We’re now three weeks into our first Fovea Insights Programme running as an online Community. It’s so exciting to see the group starting to share some of the things they’ve noticed about themselves. It takes courage to look at ourselves, and even more courage to share what we see with other people. So why do it? Well, it’s in journeying with others that helps us to see we’re not alone, and to gain insights and encouragements from one another.
Taking part in the Fovea Insights Programme also takes commitment and time, but investing in ourselves opens up new possibilities for our lives. And with those possibilities comes the opportunity to impact the lives of others around us.